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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26968957">but now i break against the dirt</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/jubileeline/pseuds/jubileeline'>jubileeline</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Video Blogging RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blood and Injury, Claustrophobia, How Do I Tag, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Minecraft, Panic Attacks, breaking of ze legs, niki and tubbo real mvps, no beta we die like men, these r the tags for 2nd chapt, tommy gets trapped in a hole oof</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 03:14:37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,213</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26968957</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/jubileeline/pseuds/jubileeline</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>title from 'losing face' by wilbur soot</p><p>just one of your average "wilbur let me out NOW i have severe claustrophobia wilbur let me out please" fics</p><p> </p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>shaky technoblade bruh</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>106</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>731</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. first and foremost</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>tw for panic attacks, breaking bones and blood!! stay safe out there &lt;3</p><p>notice; i dont actually hvae claustrophobia so it may be inaacurate!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>it had all started when tommy placed that stupid redstone block on the wrong place.</p><p> </p><p>the piston had shot up, jamming his leg against the wall and near crushing it. pain shot through his ankle to his knee, and he let out a thread of curse words.</p><p> </p><p>“oh, <em>fuck</em>-- wilbur! wilbur, help!” </p><p> </p><p>footsteps arrived outside his small room, and he expected wilbur to help him immediately, but instead wilbur just laughed.</p><p> </p><p>“wilbur, this isn't funny! help me out!” tommy snapped, and wilbur nearly fell over from how hard he was laughing. “oh my god-” he giggled, tommy scowled. </p><p> </p><p>“wilbur, this hurts, now break the redstone block and let me out!” </p><p> </p><p>“what’s going on?” came the monotone voice of techno from behind wilbur.</p><p> </p><p>“techno, thank god, wilbur isn't letting me out and my leg-”</p><p> </p><p>“don't let him out techno, he was being annoying anyway-” wilbur wheezed, and techno just stared at the situation, before leaving. “valid.”</p><p> </p><p>ouch, that hurt.</p><p> </p><p>“guys, this isn't funny anymore, c’mon-” tommy was near begging now, his leg hurting more the longer it was squished against the hard stone.</p><p> </p><p>“no, i don't think i will. You were getting a little rowdy, i think it's time for a time-out.” wilbur said, and cobblestone appeared in his hand.</p><p> </p><p>tommy paled. “wait, wil, i have severe claustrophobia, please don’t-”</p><p> </p><p>“sure, tommy.” wilbur placed a cobblestone block in the space between them, cutting off tommy’s light and his oxygen supply. his breath quickened, and he frantically struggled to get his leg out from in between the pistons. “wait, wilbur, please, stop!” he switched to his pickaxe and mined the blocks, gasping in relief when the light appeared. wilbur retaliated by placing two more cobble, and tommy broke them both. this continued until the unspeakable happened; tommy’s pickaxe broke.</p><p> </p><p>“wilbur, you know i have claustrophobia, this isn't cool!” tommy yelled, bashing at the cobblestone until his hands were hurt and red raw. wilbur just laughed, and he heard the unmistakable sound of sand being put on top of the cobble and around it. tommy could barely breathe. “wil, please-” he wheezed, and he heard wilbur walking away. </p><p> </p><p>“wilbur! please let me out!” he cried, sobs erupting from his chest. the tiny space he was in seemed to be closing in, and he was already in a hard position to breathe when he was trapped but this didn't help.</p><p> </p><p>“i think we’re going to go visit phil, we’ll be back in around four hours!”</p><p> </p><p>tommy couldn't do four hours. </p><p> </p><p>he screamed, knuckles pounding on the cobble until they were torn and blood was trailing down his arms. “wilbur! techno! please, just let me out!” he yelled.</p><p> </p><p>yelled until his throat was sore and scratchy, and punched until he couldn't move his arms.</p><p> </p><p>it had only been about thirty minutes since wilbur left but to tommy it felt like an eternity. once he realised wilbur had gone and no one was coming to help him, his chest had felt like it was constricted by a snake, and it was slowly twisting around him and it was only a matter of time before it reached his throat and he was a dead man. black clouded the edges of his vision. he had to get out.</p><p> </p><p>he didn’t have a pickaxe, but he had the next best things; his hands. so he started up again, beating at the blocks until one of the cobble broke. Tears trailed down his face as he stared at the cobblestone and sand that blocked his way to freedom. </p><p> </p><p>once the first bit of light touched his face tommy started crying heavily, the weight around his chest leaving and letting him be able to breathe properly. he stopped breaking, slumping and his shoulders being wracked from sobs. they echoed throughout the ravine, bouncing off of the walls and creating a rhythm.</p><p> </p><p>he didn't know how to get his leg out of the pistons, but he had to get out now. he had to get out right now, or he would stay trapped forever, or wilbur would come back and trap him again. he didnt want to be trapped again.</p><p> </p><p>so he took the edges of the stone and began to pull.</p><p> </p><p>It bit into his already bleeding hands, creating jagged lines running through his palms. He pulled, and pulled, his arms feeling like they were about to pop out of their sockets.</p><p> </p><p>he pulled, until-</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> crunch. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>tommy screamed, the sound leaving his throat similar to one of a wild animal. He let go of the stone to curl up, the pain in his leg overtaking his senses and leaving him defenseless. Slowly crawling out of the hole he had been trapped in, he sobbed mindlessly.</p><p> </p><p>he didn't know to get out he would have to break his own leg.</p><p> </p><p>tommy wanted to throw up, and then he did, rolling over to upchuck his breakfast. </p><p> </p><p>he didn't …</p><p>he couldn’t breathe anymore.</p><p>he didn't <em>want </em>to breathe anymore.</p><p>he just wanted the pain to be over.</p><p> </p><p>so he stayed there, curled up on the ground of pogtopia, with blood leaking from his hands and his leg twisted unnaturally in a way it would cause anyone to vomit upon seeing it. it was agony, and tommy didn't know whether he could stand it anymore..</p><p> </p><p>he wanted wilbur, or anyone. he just wanted someone to help him, to make the pain go away.</p><p> </p><p>he started to drift off, the pain becoming dulled as he lost control of his senses.</p><p> </p><p>and then he was gone.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. secondly, i know i haven't written much</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>yikes so AHA sorry this took so long to put out...</p><p>anyway. yall finally get the hurt/comfrort. dont @ me i only write angst so thats why this is awkward</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>tommy was sure he was dreaming.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>soft blurred shapes filtered in and out of his vision. green, brown, yellow, pink… the colours blended together and separated like fireworks in the night sky. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>whispers murmured in his ears, gentle fingers brushing through his hair.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>tommy was sure he was a dream because the gentle fingertips were much too soft for the harsh reality of nature.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>tommy…”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“five more minutes.” he murmured, the words not making it past his throat. he didn't want to wake up yet.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>tommy, wake up, please.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>he cracked open an eyelid, the colours that had been swimming around the inky blackness of his head now forming together to take the worried figure of someone tommy couldn't just make out yet. ‘wha do wan’” he slurred, and the figure’s face was split with a wide smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“niki, he’s awake.” another figure joined his line of vision, and the more he stared the clearer it got. the one speaking was tubbo, and the other was niki.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“tubbo? th' fuck are you doing here?” tommy’s head was still fuzzy, but he was ninety percent sure tubbo wasn't supposed to be in pogtopia.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>tubbo frowned. “well, wilbur and techno said they were leaving the visit phil and you would contact us when you woke up because you had fallen asleep early. you didn't contact us on the first day, and we thought you were just too tired to do so, so we left it. but then..”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“how long have i been out?” tommy asked to fill the awkward space where tubbo had trailed off.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“well.. you see..”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“just tell me how long it’s been.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“you might not-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“just tell me-!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“two days. we found you yesterday and you didn't wake up till today.” niki interrupted, and tommy stopped, colour draining from his cheeks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>two days? there was no way he was out for that long straight. he looked at his hands, which were bandaged over. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“we did that to stop inf-” tommy didn't care, he was ripping the bandages off and letting them fall to the ground in clumps. “don't do that-” tommy ripped off the sticky shit, not caring about how it made his hands sting. the cuts he had that etched so deep in his skin were scabbed over, yellow and purple bruising covering the sides. beads of blood had poked through where he had ripped off the sticky thing, and his hands shook. “no way.” he said quietly, before looking up. “there's no way i was out for that long.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“‘fraid so. breaking bones and then bleeding out until there's a puddle from your hands alone does that to a person,” tubbo said, earning a whack on the arm from niki.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“breaking...” tommy looked down at his leg in a homemade cast. how did he not remember? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“tommy, what happened to you? was it someone from manberg?” niki asked, and tommy’s expression was devoid of any feeling.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“uh, i…” he trailed off. it was kind of dark now that he thought about it. “i sort of...broke my own leg?” he phrased it like it was a question. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“how do you break your own leg? are you fucking with us right now?” tubbo asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“uhh, haha, yeah..” tommy nervously chuckled, looking between the two of them. “i , um, got trapped in a hole..that one..there,” he pointed to it, trying to stop his hand from shaking. tubbo stood up, walked over to the entrance and crouched next to it, looking inside. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“you fit in this? it's like two feet big.” he said. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“that’s the point. i didn't fit in it,” tommy looked away from the hole. he didn't want to see it. “my leg got caught in the pistons while i was making the room, and i had to break it to get it out, i guess.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>niki’s hands flew to her mouth, while tubbo looked like he was about to be sick.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“when did this happen?” tubbo asked, and tommy shrugged. “yesterday, just like you said.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“wilbur or techno did not help you?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>tommy looked to the side, unpleasant memories pushing to the front of his brain. “well , uh..” his voice had failed him, the tremble exploding how he really felt. “wilbur was the one, who, uh.. trapped me in there.” the last sentence was no more than a murmur, but the other two’s reactions were enough to prove they heard it. “what?! but he knows you're claustrophobic, that’s just a dick move-” tubbo said angrily, hands flying everywhere to show his point. “i don't think he does. i told him, but i think he thought i was just making excuses,” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>niki hadn't said a word, but one look showed she was silently raging. “and the cuts on your hands?” she said quietly. niki was scary when she was angry, mainly because she just never was, and it was a new experience. tommy didn't want to be the one her anger was directed at, ever. “i had to pull myself out of the hole,” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“so that’s where the blood on the wall is from. i thought it was from something that had happened prior,” tubbo thought out loud.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘there’s blood?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“no shit.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>tommy shifted uncomfortably. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“there’s still just one thing i don't get… </span>
  <em>
    <span>why </span>
  </em>
  <span>didn't wilbur help you? that’s just so unlike him!” niki exclaimed, and tommy played with his fingers and avoided the question. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“tommy?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“he treated it as a joke.” tommy said quietly, dropping his hands and staring at them in his lap. “he didn't really care about how i was trying to get out. probably thought i was doing it for the bit, and he left me there.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“wait, he just left you there? didn't even bother to help you out?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“i would've gotten out so much easier if i had a pickaxe, but it broke because i had to break the cobblestone blocks wilbur kept putting in the exit. that's why my knuckles were- are all bruised up,” tubbo had nearly thrown up when they found him from his hands alone, and hearing that the cause of them were from </span>
  <em>
    <span>wilbur himself </span>
  </em>
  <span>made his blood boil. “that's… that's fucked. that's absolutely fucked,” he said quietly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“well, i mean…” tommy realised he couldn't even make an excuse. it </span>
  <em>
    <span>was </span>
  </em>
  <span>fucked. “yeah, it kinda was,” he said quietly, finally accepting it himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>he had always trusted wilbur with anything. followed whatever he said. looked up to him. wilbur was like tommy’s big brother. and finally realising that wilbur wasnt all that and had left tommy in a whole with no way out and just up and left would break anyone. hell, why did tommy look up to him? all the harsh words and insults tommy tookas a joke, as a bit, came crashing down onto him at once. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>he had started to tear up without noticing, only realising when he tasted salt. he brushed his fingertips to his cheeks, and lo and behold, there was wetness.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“i just…” tommy looked down, his exterior finally crashing down around him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>tubbo was the first to wrap his arms around tommy, pulling him in close. niki followed suit after, and tommy finally broke. “i was so scared, and he just left me there,” his voice shook, like he was trying so hard not to sob. “i felt like i was dying over and over.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“it’s okay,” niki comforted him, and tommy grabbed her arm like it was a rope in the sea in a thunderstorm. holding onto a lifeline for dear life.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“it’s never going to happen again.” tubbo promised, and behind the gentleness of his words there was coldness, anger; at wilbur, mainly, for breaking someone so strong, but at life in general. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>tubbo was going to keep that promise.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>philza minecraft</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>philza minecraft</p></blockquote></div></div>
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